The Role of Parents in Recruiting: Support Without Taking Over

Introduction

Parents are foundational in the recruiting process—financially, emotionally, and logistically. But there’s a fine line between being helpful and overstepping. In our recent webinar with Coach Tumolo, she shared insights for parents on how to guide their daughters intelligently without unintentionally hampering their path.

What Coaches Appreciate From Parents

• Understanding boundaries: allowing athletes to take ownership

• Encouragement rather than pressure

• Help with logistics: trips, finances, communication when needed

• Positive perspective: helping stay calm, focused, confident

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

• Trying to speak for the athlete in recruiting conversations

• Excessive pressure or expectations based on others’ timelines

• Overemphasis on prestige or rankings over fit

• Letting fear or worry drive decisions

Practical Ways Parents Can Support

1. Listen first – Ask your athlete what she wants most, what feels right.

2. Coach the process – Help with scheduling visits, reviewing options, handling logistics.

3. Encourage self-advocacy – Let your daughter reach out to coaches, ask questions, express concerns.

4. Focus on the long game – Remind her that fit and happiness matter more than immediate accolades.

Conclusion

The recruiting journey is a shared one—and when parents strike the balance between support and stepping back—athletes shine. Your role isn’t to control, but to empower. When done right, that kind of support builds confidence, character, and clarity.