Ditch the List: Why Open-Minded Recruits Win in the Long Run
- Top-Tier Recruiting
- Aug 8
- 2 min read
Every year, athletes are told to “make a list” of their top 10 dream schools before September 1. But according to Joe Spallina, head coach at Stony Brook University and one of the most respected voices in college lacrosse, that list might actually hurt your chances more than help them.
The truth? Being open-minded is one of the most valuable traits in the recruiting process. And it’s often the athletes who are flexible, curious, and willing to explore all options who end up finding the best fit—not just the biggest name.
The Problem with Pre-Made Lists
“Lists create disappointment,” Spallina explained. “If seven of the ten schools on your list don’t call on September 1, you immediately feel like you failed.”
He’s seen this firsthand—not just with athletes he’s coached, but with his own kids. Both received calls from nearly every major program in the country. And both ended up seriously considering schools they never imagined beforehand.
Your dream school might not even be on your radar yet. By sticking too tightly to a list, you risk closing the door on incredible opportunities just because they don’t match a predetermined ranking.
Focus on Fit, Not Hype
Instead of building your list around brand names or past Final Four appearances, Spallina encourages athletes to think about what actually matters: the system, the coaching style, the culture, the academic offerings, and the development track record.
“If you’re a strong X-attack, go somewhere that builds around that. If you’re a two-way middie, find a school that plays through the midfield. Know your strengths and find a system that highlights them.”
The question isn’t: “Who’s the biggest name that called me?”
It’s: “Where will I be developed, challenged, and supported?”
Be Ready to Respond—No Matter Who Calls
Whether your dream school calls or a mid-major program reaches out, treat every call with respect and gratitude. “Return every call,” Spallina says. “Even if it’s not a fit, you’ll grow through the conversations—and coaching staffs move all the time.”
And don’t forget: coaches talk. The way you handle communication matters. Being polite, thoughtful, and timely says more about your character than any highlight reel ever could.
There’s No One-Size-Fits-All Path
Your journey is yours alone. Don’t measure it against others. Some athletes will commit early. Some will commit late. Some will transfer. And some will surprise everyone—including themselves—by thriving at a school they never thought to consider.
“Every path is different,” Spallina says. “And that’s okay. The right fit isn’t the most popular one. It’s the one that helps you grow as a player and as a person.”
Final Thoughts
Instead of narrowing your focus to a list, expand it. Be open to conversations. Be willing to listen. Be ready to grow. The best opportunities often come when you least expect them—and they look a lot less like a “top 10” and a lot more like home.
The more flexible you are in this process, the more power you give yourself to find the program that truly fits.
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